February 12, 2010 @ 11:53 am
Fight Violence, Find Peace
Homicide Survivors Inc., Tucson, AZ (8)
Before reading this entry I must remind you of my original thoughts surrounding this journey. I explained the need to possibly place myself in uncomfortable situations which would possibly lead me to find more about who I was, but also about the reality of what exists in this world. In doing just that, before reading this piece you must realize that this story is one with much sadness and many uncertainties. While there is undoubtedly hope in this story, before reading please realize the strong nature of its’ content.
I’m not afraid of dying, not really anyhow. I mean my heart may beat a bit faster when I think of the unknown, but overall I have a feeling of peace when I think about passing on to a place full with love and acceptance. However, when I say my prayers at night I always end with a plea to “keep me safe, not for the sake of me, but for my mom and my husband.” While my not being here would be absolutely horrific for my husband, I truly believe that there is no greater pain endured than the loss of a child.
I met Gail, founder of Homicide Survivors Inc., shortly after arriving in their office. I was learning just why someone would dedicate her time to a cause that most certainly made for upsetting days and sometimes nights. She handed me a book that so sadly told the story of her 14-year-old son. He had dark, curly hair. His smile was clearly infectious and just like any other young boy, he was full of energy and curiosity. She’d seen him as he walked down the long alley behind their home but she’d not seen him return. Hours, days, months passed by. Gail phoned, cried, begged for help in finding her son. Finally a police car arrived in her driveway. Her son had been killed. His dreams, her dreams for him, would never be realized.
I was asked why I chose to work with an organization that serves those suffering from a loss of the most horrific magnitude. Why would I want to address an issue so severe during a journey full of love and goodness and the “a-ha moments” we all yearn to find. I’ve thought about these questions, and while my answer may not be the most poignant or the most clarified, I simply have to say that life is not always beautiful. It’s often harsh, it’s scary, it’s gruesome and there are people in this world who long for the power and the control to make others suffer and hurt. This is unfortunately the reality we must all face. What’s so very good about this however is that we have the ability to be inspired by people like Gail, people who wake every morning with the ambition to help those affected by violence and crime regardless of the hate they’ve experienced themselves. With all of the evil piercing our world today, some believe it’s slowly ending, our society has gone too far. I understand that sometimes the bad does seem overwhelming. But then I’m reminded of Gail and how in 1981 she had no support group to help her understand the pain she was experiencing. Indeed our ways, lifestyles, ideals are changing and not always for the best. However with those changes, we are, as a whole, becoming more aware of what we need to do for one another, what our responsibilities are in the web that connects us all.
For Tucson, I would be making ribbons for those affected by violence. Mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, and so on would wear them quietly indicating their loss. Sitting in my hotel, cutting, gluing, pinning, I was happy as I thought about the people who would wear the awareness ribbons I was making. I loved that what I was doing was something that could be done at home, at work, with kids, with spouses, in the morning or late at night. Although the premise is haunting, the initial discomfort quickly disappears with the lessons we learn regarding the value of a human life. Though the ribbon ultimately represented a type of sadness unimaginable to me, I loved the sense of awareness and hope for which it so clearly stood. The white color was for a peaceful future while the black indicated those lost to violence. I felt as though I was contributing to something that earlier, was not a part of my reality. It was however, incredibly real.
I found in my visit that the sadness that filled the Homicide Survivors office was shadowed by the support, friendship and hope they provide to all who need their services. What I’ve learned is that no matter the hatred and sadness with which we are presented, the human spirit is strong and continues for those who truly believe it can. The people here believe it can, and they’re fighting to ensure that it does for those who need them, now and later.
Note: Homicide Survivors was particularly supportive of my cause. They were relentless in publicly promoting the concept and Tucson listened to their request:
http://www.kvoa.com/videos/?id=1134
To you all…Your kindness toward and confidence in someone new on the block, was absolutely astonishing and inspiring
