February 22, 2010 @ 11:26 am
New Life
Women’s Resource Medical Centers of Southern Nevada Inc., Las Vegas, NV (9)
When I walked into the Women’s Resource Medical Center I wasn’t sure exactly what I would find on the other side of the doors that welcomed me. Growing up, teenage pregnancy and abortion was something with which I was not familiar. There were definitely girls I knew who had decided to become intimate with their boyfriends in high school, but I guess it’s something that overall we just didn’t really talk about. Today would be another very different experience for me and while I was somewhat hesitant I was incredibly interested to see what was ahead.
The Center focuses on the needs of women, and sometimes men, during various stages of pregnancy. Counseling and support, as well as pregnancy tests and other necessary actions to ensure a safe pregnancy, are provided for those who find themselves in need. Greeted by Anna I felt so comfortable. She wasn’t judging, me or anyone else. She was simply there to make someone feel better. I was surprised, pleasantly surprised, at her gentle voice and total acceptance.
Soon after, I began office work. As I helped organize mailings encouraging support from local organizations, I listened to some of the great stories from Anna and other volunteers. There were good stories, some not so good stories but my most favorite was about a woman, once a Vegas prostitute, who now works on getting girls out of the business. I loved that she had no fear walking into casinos and speaking to the girls about the way life could be. To have the motivation to put oneself in danger for the sake of another is amazing to me.
I also, couldn’t deny the feeling of sadness in the Center. I was sure that many women at one point sat in these offices and cried about the choices they were forced to make at such an early age. I’m sure many regretted their decisions and questioned what their lives would have been had they not chosen the path that led them to present circumstances. There was however also a feeling of ease; the kind of feeling that comes when you’ve experienced something so horrible and finally someone is providing help, relieving you of some of your fears and confusion. The counselors and volunteers have created an atmosphere that clearly makes these ladies feel that although some mistakes have been made, they’re good people, worthy of love and respect. Before I left the facility I snapped several quick photos of the wonderful “store” they have for the women they help. It was so inviting and closely resembled the children stores where I shop. I loved that the girls were able to choose new pieces for their babies, compliments of the Center. For at least a moment, these girls could travel to a boutique for booties, onesies, blankets and stuffed bears. After upset parents, confused boyfriends, questions of why, the feeling of normalcy must be priceless.
The day was different for me as I’m not sure about my having children. I don’t know if they’re in my future. I’m nervous, I’m selfish, and I become completely unglued if my schedule changes unexpectedly. Consequently, I’m not so sure how great of a mom I would be. After today however, I must say I’m definitely considering it a bit more. For the very first time, I watched an ultrasound being performed. It’s absolutely mind-blowing to be sitting in a room of four and see on a screen, the heart beat of that fifth being. The young lady carrying the child sat patiently as we all glared at the monitor hoping to see the beating of a peanut-sized figure. While I was trying to appear invisible, after seeing the first bit of movement, I couldn’t contain myself. It was magical. I laughed out loud at what seemed so foreign to me. I mean I obviously have known many people who have had children, I’ve even known a few pregnant people if you can imagine, but the connection I felt to someone I had never met simply because I was one of the first to see the heart beat of her child, was astounding to me. I felt unbelievably lucky in that very short moment.
Again, I said that I would not be political, I would not be controversial. My feelings on abortion and a woman’s right to choose will remain a mystery. After today though, I am certain of several things. In the second a mother hears the heartbeat of her child for the very first time, everything about her must be different; her perspectives, her dreams, her ambitions. Every day she lives, every decision she makes in part determines the kind of person that child becomes. Her ability to mold this young person must be absolutely rewarding, yet incredibly scary. Before making the decision to become sexually involved, it might be wise to keep this in mind.
I’m also certain that witnessing that being with its’ heart beating changed my appreciation for human life. Although it was small, the heart was strong and ready to take on the world. I wonder what goals he or she will make, what will be accomplished, how proud mom and dad will be. I don’t think I’ll ever meet this strapping young boy or the sassy, sweet girl, but I’ll always remember the first heartbeat, how it opened my eyes to the greater possibility of children, and I’ll be incredibly thankful.
